When should I tell my toddler about the new baby that's coming?
Although you may be anxious to share the good news about your pregnancy, you may want to wait until you are a few months along. Most toddlers have not yet developed a good sense of time, so they may find it hard to comprehend just how long they'll have to wait until their new sister or brother arrives. However, if your toddler becomes aware of your pregnancy, you should tell him that a new baby is coming.

Ever since we told my toddler about the new baby, he's been clingy and demanding a bottle. What should I do?
It's not unusual for a toddler to regress to more baby-like behavior. He's doing these things to reassure himself that he still has your love and attention.

Instead of denying his demands, simply grant his requests. His interest in things that you thought he had outgrown will likely disappear once he realizes that you are still interested in his well-being and comfort.

Should I try to potty train my 2-year-old before the baby arrives?
It depends. If your 2-year-old seems ready (see Potty training ), by all means go ahead, provided that you feel up to the task. However, if your 2-year-old shows no interest, or is facing other changes at the moment-such as a move to a new room or bed-you may be better off waiting.

How can I prepare my toddler for the arrival of a new sibling?
To help your toddler prepare for his new role of big brother, you may want to:

• Try to involve him as much as possible as you get ready for baby's arrival. Let him help shop for clothes, supplies, and equipment.
  
  
• Show him pictures of himself as a newborn. Let him "test" some of the baby equipment that he may have used previously to help get it ready for the new baby.
  
  
• Talk about some of the positive aspects of being a big brother.
  
  
• Read some books about becoming a big brother.
  
  
• Sign him up for a sibling preparation class if your hospital offers one. This will also give him the opportunity to see where baby will be born and where he can visit you.
  
  
• Don't promise that things will be the same after the baby arrives. But reassure him that he can count on your love no matter what.

How can I help my toddler adjust once the new baby is here?
Here are some suggestions to help big brother cope:

• Include him as often as possible in your activities with the baby. Let him "help" as you feed, diaper, and dress the baby. Just be sure to provide careful supervision.
  
  
• Toddlers can be excellent entertainers for their younger siblings. He may enjoy singing to or making silly faces for the baby.
  
  
• If your toddler exhibits negative behavior, try to ignore it as much as possible (while keeping baby safe, of course). It may simply be his way of venting his resentment toward the baby.
  
  
• While baby naps, spend some time with your toddler. Your undivided attention will help him to know that he is still special to you.
  
  
• If possible, arrange for your toddler to go on a special outing to the park, the zoo, etc. He may enjoy a break from the new arrival.

My toddler seems very jealous of the new baby. What can I do?
First, recognize that it is not unusual for a toddler to be jealous. It can be very hard for someone his age to adjust to the idea of sharing your attention and affection with someone else.

You may be able to encourage your toddler by assigning him some big brother tasks, such as picking out toys or helping as you diaper and dress the baby. His sense of accomplishment as he assists you may help him to forget some of his misgivings. However, if your toddler resists, don't force him to interact with the baby just yet.

Being sure to spend some time with your toddler alone may help him to feel secure that he still holds special place in your heart.

Should I let my toddler hold the new baby?
Toddlers are typically too small and not coordinated enough to properly hold and support a newborn. It would be better to help your toddler enjoy a closely supervised cuddle.

Sit your toddler in a comfortable chair and put a pillow under the arm that will support baby's head. After positioning the baby, stay within arm's reach to take over should your toddler become distracted or tired.